Self-Esteem- Quelling the Voices in Girls' Heads

This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Dove.

I have always been a BIG girl. My cousins and aunts were all strong Asian women, who were petite and size 5. I, on other hand was Amazonian by their standards at a whopping 5'6", wearing size 7 in the 5th grade and wearing my mother's hand me down shoes by grade 6. "Wow, you are tall and SO big!" or "How are you going to marry a nice Filipino Boy being so tall?" were common questions I fielded from "aunties". These "pep talks" always did wonders for my self esteem and image. I vowed I would never say such things to anyone, especially a young impressionable person. Ever.

Speaking for myself, mentors were key and often came into my life unexpectedly. My mentors came in many forms and ages. Some were elders - my mother, my grandmother and past bosses, who taught me how to be a strong woman - to multitask, to be responsible and love fiercely. Many were young women and students I worked with who were fearless and did things without worrying what others thought. Some were right out of college with the world at their feet, a few were foster kids who had stints in juvenile hall, while a couple wore hijabs to school along with their jeans and tennis shoes facing ignorant fools who assumed they were extremists. Most of the time, I got more than I gave - learning more about myself and my leadership capacity from the young people I worked with. These women kept me on my toes and gave me a new perspective on how to look at the world. They expected me to be better than I ever thought I could be and loved me when I failed. They told me when to dump the boyfriends who were bad news and let me know when I was actually bringing myself down.   They taught me to mentor and be a good "girl friend" to others.

While having these ladies in my corner has always been a sense of strength, I am clear that my own sense of self esteem and confidence developed as I began to understand where I came from and where I wanted to go. A combination of having people who had high expectations of me and the opportunities to make my own mistakes were invaluable. It has taken a long time to gain some clarity on who I am and who I want to be (and I reserve the right to change it at anytime).

To silence the "aunties" voices in my head, I have worked in various non-profits over the years working with young people to develop their leadership skills, self-esteem and find their voices in the world. I have had the privilege of working with 7 year old soccer players, 14 year olds in juvenile hall and 18 year old teen moms. What I do know is that girls today all start out strong, confident and resilient. But they are still subject to an environment that tells them that they are not pretty enough, smart enough or in my case "petite" enough. Positive role models and images on television or in magazines are few and far between. As a mother, it pisses me off! What can adults, parents and aunties do to support girls to quell the negative voices in their heads?

The brilliant minds at Dove have launched the Dove Self-Esteem Fund which is committed to helping girls build positive self-esteem and a healthy body image, with a goal of reaching 5 million girls globally by 2010. The campaign provides tangible opportunities for each of us to support the girls in our lives. Every time you buy Dove, you help them provide self-esteem building workshops. Enter the UPC code on Dove.com to donate $1 to self-esteem programming through their partners – Girl Scouts, Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and Girls Inc. Dove is also collecting video and photo testimonials from women who have helped build positive self esteem in a girl in their life. I am most excited that you can download curriculum to lead a self-esteem workshop yourself and can download a guide to help guide mom/daughter conversation about body image and self esteem.

I want the voice in my daughter's head to be mine - and it will only be positive! It is my greatest wish for my own daughter to have her own posse of women who tell her like it is, tell her how beautiful she is and quell the voices that chip away at her confidence and self-esteem.Thanks to my mentors and to the young women who have crossed my path to make sure that I stand strong to make sure others can too.

Read more self-esteem stories from BlogHer reviewers at the roundup page.  The Dove Self-Esteem Fund is committed to helping girls build positive self-esteem and a healthy body image, with a goal of reaching 5 million girls globally by 2010. With your help, we can make a difference! 

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